Winners in the "Limericks" Competition
organised by N.C.T.E.
Now I stare in despair
I cant find this file anywhere
I found my pick
And did a double click
And thats what I wanted to declare.
I put on a bet,
To go on the net,
I didnt go sad,
When Johnny said I was mad,
Thats something I will never forget.
P.C. SPEAK TO ME!
As I hold this box, what can it be?
I push the mouse, runs blindly, what dont I see
Surf the net, log on to Hitachi.
Oh! Its making me weary.
P.C.speak to me!
A man was doing a course on computer,
He said he didnt need a tutor,
He clicked on the mouse,
Which blew up the house,
Hell know better in future
A friend who lives in the States,
Used chat rooms so as to get dates,
He went out with girl called Bella,
Turned out shes a fella,
And now he gets slagged by his mates.
S. Kelly & D. Leahy
I Know A Man Called Fred,
Sometimes I Wish He Was Dead,
He Went On The Net,
To Place A Bet,
And Now He Is Rich, So He Said.
There was a man from Athboy,
Who bought a computer as a toy,
It wasnt long before it broke,
He got a stroke,
And the poor old man did die.
The Internet is a funny place,
Where you can learn about the human race,
You surf the net,
And try to get,
Information at a fast pace.
There was a young boy called John Paul,
Who set himself up for a fall,
Hes surfing e-mail,
Avoiding the Jail,
So he wont have to jump over the wall.
I have a friend named Gail,
She took a course to teach us e-mail,
She made a friend called Stan,
Who went cos. he couldnt scan,
But still their attempts did fail.
A computer technician from Cork,
Got annoyed when I called him a Dork,
It was only a joke
So I gave him a poke
But then he stabbed me with a fork.
I knew a man from Kanturk,
He used to download from work.
I heard he got tired,
So he got fired.
And his name John Burke!
I knew a fellow called Stan.
He would never teach me how to scan.
I bought a new computer.
But couldnt find a tutor.
And now I can only do the best I can.
Declan O Sullivan
A man ordered shoes on the net,
When he got them the shoes were wet.
It turns out what he put on was not his shoe,
It was his dog Lu Lu
Who he now has to take to the vet.
Dara O Shea
There was a young man called Luther
Who wanted to work a computer
So he went into Dell
Met a woman called Nell
And now shes his computer tutor!!
Ryan O Doherty
There once was a man from Kinsale,
Who was one day thrown into a jail,
You see a computer he stole,
But even though he thought he was on a roll,
Was caught and is now looking for bail.
One day I was surfing on the Internet
When I found a nice house that was to let
I sent an E-mail to the address that was given they sent me back happy liven.
So I packed my bags and off I set,
To the new home that I found on the Net
A space alien landed from Mars,
And broke three electronic cars,
He called his friend Luther,
Who was good on the computer,
And he mended them all with space bars.
When I discovered e-mail,
I thought I could never fail,
But alas one quite night,
I awoke with a fright,
To find my computer for sale!
Aoife O Dwyer